Jay Shetty

11 Minutes

Edited & medically reviewed by THE BALANCE Team

Fact checked

CONTENTS

Jay Shetty is an English author, life coach, and former Hindu monk of British Indian origin. He was born in England on September 6, 1987. Jay holds a BSc (Hons.) in behavioral science from “Cass Business School” in London.

At the age of 22, after graduation, Jay traveled around India and Europe before becoming a monk. Jay had previously met a monk who motivated him to devote his life to serving others and making a positive impact on their lives. He was 18 years old at the time. He then determined to live a life free of the allure of wealth, power, and glory.

Jay started as a public and motivational speaker. He began discussing his monastic experiences at academic institutions and global corporations. He has spoken at Google, Facebook, L’Oreal, Coca-Cola, EY, HSBC, Accenture, Microsoft, and Nasdaq.

After a significant time as a public speaker at universities and corporations, Jay chose to reach out to a larger audience and those who had been unable to see him in person. As the presenter of the podcast On Purpose, he has had Khloe Kardashian, Alicia Keys, and Kobe Bryant as guests, bringing in over 300 million downloads. Also, Jay Shetty meditation techniques are famous among his followers. These are guided meditation sessions with a particular structure.

He has discussed mental health and life purpose on CBS Mornings, Ellen DeGeneres, Today, and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Numerous motivational videos addressing various elements of life, social interactions, and human behavior may be found on this channel. It has more than a million subscribers.

Sometimes a relationship ends, leaving you not only heartbroken but also bewildered as to why it didn’t work out.

Nearly every person on the planet experiences something similar at some point. It is essential to remember that self-criticism after a setback is never the answer.

Relationships are fragile, and you must have a greater understanding of the five love languages (inspired by Gary Chapman) for them to succeed. Let’s begin.

1. Words of Affirmation

Chapman argues that spoken or written words will suffice to fill the “love tank” of a person whose primary language of love is words of praise. Words of encouragement, affection, and affirmation have a profound effect on a person who speaks this love language.

Jay Shetty says that it’s important for some of us to be very careful and active with our words of thanks and praise.

2. Physical Touch

Closeness, hugging, holding hands, sitting together, and even high-fiving can make a person feel appreciated for whom physical touch is the primary love language.

Jay Shetty explains that many of us truly feel most loved when we’re physically cared for, hugged, and caressed.

3. Receiving Gifts

People who speak this love language appreciate meaningful gifts of any size or cost.

A gift can have multiple meanings, as Shetty explains. Understanding the significance of a present for your partner is crucial.

4. Quality Time

Quality time is time spent offering your mate intentional, focused attention. This means making eye contact, listening, and making a conscious effort to value and put the other person first.

Jay Shetty says that a great way to make quality time is to set up a place where you can talk without being interrupted.

5. Acts of Service

Some individuals feel the most loved when being served. Bringing someone food, chores, or odd chores and watching the children is extremely meaningful to those whose major language of love is Acts of Service.

Using these love languages will enrich, deepen, and enhance the connection for both partners. In addition, loving someone according to their love language will save you money, time, and aggravation. Why waste money on presents for a loved one who won’t completely appreciate them? Why spend time and energy on acts of service that someone will not appreciate?

Using some of the advice from The Five Love Languages, Jay Shetty goes on to outline 6 steps you may take to identify your partner and communicate your love language.

1. Know Your Love Language First

Begin by determining your love language. Shetty used the recommendations from Chapman’s book to do this by encouraging his audience to question themself the following questions.

Which of the five love languages brings me the most happiness?
Which one of these love languages would you miss the most if it wasn’t expressed?

Identifying this can help you comprehend your love language so that you may convey it to your partner.

2. Know Your Partner’s Love Language

After gaining a solid understanding of how you are best-loved, shift your focus to the person you are loving. Allow and encourage them to consider the aforementioned questions and rate their love languages. Take the time to discuss their list and examine how they are loved most successfully as you choose how to demonstrate your affection.

Shetty warns that if we do not learn how the other person best receives love, we tend to love them by default. Typically, this means loving them as we would like to be loved, but this does not fill their bucket.

As illustrated by Chapman in his book, imagine approaching a person who does not speak English and attempting to interact with them. They would not comprehend.

Jay Shetty explains that that’s how it seems to not get love in your love language.

Before he learned about the notion of love languages, Jay Shetty was perplexed as to why his wife did not appear to like the presents he gave her. In contrast, he struggled to appreciate the quality time and delicious meals she prepared with care.

3. Know Your Parents

Jay Shetty explains that many of our love languages are predicated on how our parents adored us or did not love us. Either what our parents had given us or what they didn’t provide us has become our top priority.

What we received or did not receive from our parents often influences our expectations of our spouses.

Shetty explains that we’re attempting to use our partners to fill a hole or prolong a feeling, emotional longing, or simply the experience that our parents created. Shetty urges individuals to examine their expectations and demands of relationships through the prism of how their parents demonstrated or did not demonstrate love.

4. Go Deeper

Simply checking the love language boxes is not always sufficient. It is easy to become stuck in a pattern of doing your partner’s love language in its simplest version. A short kiss on the cheek or a thoughtless gift lacks significance when there is no loving intent.

Gifts are not limited to physical goods, Shetty explains. Touch is not limited to handshakes or walking while holding hands. Words of affirmation don’t just mean tossing words everywhere, right? It is significantly more than that.

Jay’s major love language is gifts, although over time he has observed a shift. His wife has dug deeper and gotten into the core of what he truly appreciates, giving him meaningful presents.

5. Okay Isn’t Enough

Quite often people worry that their expressions of affection are inadequate. All expressions of affection should be responded to with appreciation. But why go for mediocrity when you can love people in profoundly significant ways? Jay Shetty invites individuals to learn how to love others in the manner in which they desire and expect to be loved.

They may appear inclined to accept mediocrity. Perhaps they have never been loved well, therefore they are unaware. Perhaps they have experienced past pain. Despite this, it is quite effective to love someone through their love language.

6. Money Can’t Buy Love

Jay Shetty states that things cannot substitute for love languages. Money, showing off, gifts, and random trips are no substitute for truly understanding your partner’s love language.

Jay urges individuals not to use money or the things they may purchase as a crutch or an excuse for not learning to appreciate the other person well.

Replacing relationships with objects will not strengthen a bond. Putting in effort always pays off.

Think Like A Monk By Jay Shetty

Jay Shetty, a social media sensation and creator of the number one podcast On Purpose, summarizes the ageless wisdom he gained as a monk into daily actions that anybody may take to live a less stressed and more purposeful existence.

When you think as a monk, you will understand:

How to defeat negativity
Ways to stop overanalyzing
Why comparison destroys love
How to harness your fear
Why you cannot discover happiness by seeking it
How to benefit from every interaction
What makes you more than just your thoughts
How to discover your purpose
Why generosity is essential to success

And a lot more…

In this uplifting and enlightening book, Shetty uses his experience as a monk to demonstrate how we can remove obstacles to our ability and power. Think Like a Monk teaches how to transcend bad thoughts and behaviors and achieve the inner peace and purpose that lie within everyone by combining ancient teachings with the author’s own ashram experiences.

He converts abstract ideas into guidance and activities we can all use to alleviate stress, build relationships, and give the world the treasures we discover within ourselves. Shetty demonstrates that everybody can and ought to think like a monk.

8 Rules Of Love

No one formally instructs us on how to love. Consequently, we are frequently thrust into relationships with only romance films and popular culture to guide us. Until now.

Rather than presenting love as a vague notion or a bunch of cliches, Shetty outlines clear, tangible actions that will help you gain the ability to practice and cultivate love more effectively than ever before. He offers advice on how to succeed or fail together, how to interpret love, and why you don’t break when a relationship breaks down.

Inspired by Vedic knowledge and contemporary science, he examines the full relationship cycle, from the first dates to living together to splitting up and beginning again. In addition, he demonstrates how to keep from falling for empty promises and unsatisfying couples.

By adhering to Jay Shetty’s 8 rules, we can all cherish ourselves, our partners, and the world beyond our expectations.

Life-Changing Quotes by Jay Shetty

This book is a compilation of statements by Jay Shetty that have a profound impact on the lives of many individuals all over the world, and it will help you develop mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Jay is also the famous author of “Think Like a Monk.” His experiences in life and professional knowledge will provide you with your daily dose of inspiration.

Even when we do everything we can to avoid hurting someone, keeping a relationship can lead to more problems. The more likely it is that it will end on a good note, the sooner you end it after noticing the warning signs. Here are 7 telltale signals that a relationship should end.

1. You no longer look forward to seeing them

The first indicator that you should leave a relationship is an obvious one. You should end the relationship if you’re not looking forward to meeting someone or you are avoiding their messages and calls because you are afraid of having to talk to them.

Consider why you are avoiding their calls and declining to visit them. It is difficult for you to answer these questions, but if you are looking out for others more than this individual, it is an indication that you have already moved on.

2. Being around this person is draining

Do you feel fatigued when you are in the presence of a certain person? You shun their company since it is too much for you to manage. Don’t ignore the fact that spending a lot of time with someone makes you feel drained, tired, and down.

Admitting that a relationship must end might be difficult at times. Jay Shetty reminds people to keep in mind that quitting a relationship is not always a negative event.

3. You have different expectations

Jay Shetty says that having different expectations is the third sign that a relationship should end. In partnerships, expectations and promises can be one of the toughest obstacles. When the expectations of two people diverge too greatly, it is sometimes appropriate to stop the connection so that you can devote your attention to partnerships that are a better fit.

When you and someone else aren’t on the same page and can’t talk about or understand each other’s goals, the situation won’t fix itself. If you and another person cannot agree on what your standards are for them and what their hopes are for you, this is a sign that the relationship should be terminated.

4. They are Always Critical Of You

Never stay in a relationship with a person who constantly criticizes you. However, there is a distinction when the feedback is helpful.

If you have a relationship with a mentor or coach receiving their constructive advice and support is a wonderful asset. However, constant exposure to unprompted, unconstructive criticism is detrimental to one’s self-image and self-worth. This is a relationship to end.

5. You experience fear in the relationship

Exists a person in your life about whom you have heightened anxiety and concern? Occasionally you refrain from calling or meeting with someone because you dread their reaction. Their responses are daunting, and you constantly fear saying something that will offend or irritate them.

This is what Jay Shetty calls a fear-based relationship, and it’s a warning that you may need to quit an unhappy relationship. A relationship based on fear can only increase your anxiety and stress levels. At this moment, it is time to depart.

6. The relationship is built on obligation

Occasionally, we feel compelled to invite or spend time with a person. We persuade ourselves that we are being kind, that it is the courteous thing to do… but is that the case? Who is being treated kindly? Not you!

An obligation-based relationship leaves you feeling uncomfortable. Since you and this individual have not established relationship expectations.

Let go of this relationship. Not only can letting go liberate you from a relationship you detest, but it will also enable the other person to meet people who appreciate their company more.

7. They’re not the person you tell the good news to

Jay concludes that you should end a relationship if you do not think of the other person when you receive good news. You immediately think of them and desired to share something with them at one point. That has changed today. It can be difficult to comprehend and accept the fact that your former go-to resource is no longer available.

This does not lessen the relationship you once had; it merely places your current relationship in a different location, and different might be good.

FAQs

What Are The 6 Things You Don’t Expect From Others?

Jay Shetty identified six expectations that impede genuine forward movement. Taking care of these issues and releasing your expectations of others will help you get off to a strong start in the new year.
Don’t Count on Others to Bring Closure
Don’t Expect Apologies from Others
Do not assume that everyone will require an explanation for everything.
Do Not Expect Others to Understand You
Do not rely on the approval of others
Don’t Count on Others to Share Your Beliefs

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