Empty Nest Syndrome

9 Minutes

Edited & medically reviewed by THE BALANCE Team

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CONTENTS

The day has finally come – your child is leaving the nest to start a new chapter of their life. For many parents, seeing their children leave home to start their own lives is bittersweet. On the one hand, there’s a sense of pride and satisfaction in watching them grow up and become independent adults. Yet, there’s an emptiness that can be difficult to fill. This is known as “empty nest syndrome,” and it’s a common experience that affects many parents around the world.

Empty nest syndrome can affect anyone, whether or not you have one child or multiple, and whether you’re a stay-at-home parent or have a full-time career. But the good news is, there are ways to cope with and overcome the feelings of emptiness and loneliness that come with this life transition.

Here we’ll take a closer look at what empty nest syndrome is, what causes it, and how you can cope with it. So if you’re a parent who’s recently experienced this phenomenon or if you’re preparing for it, read on to find out more.

Empty nest syndrome is the feeling of sadness, loneliness, or grief parents experience when their children leave home for the first time [1]. It can occur when children move out to attend college, get married, or start their own families.

Origin of Empty Nest Syndrome

The term “empty nest syndrome” was first used in the 1970s to describe the emotional state that parents go through when their children leave home [2]. Since then, the syndrome has become more widely recognized and is now a common experience for many parents.

Mechanisms Behind Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty nest syndrome is often caused by a major life transition, which can be difficult to cope with emotionally [3]. Parents who have dedicated a significant amount of time and effort to raising their children may feel a sense of loss when they leave. This can be compounded by the fact that the parent’s role and identity may change after their children move out.

Types of Empty Nest Syndrome

There are two main types of empty nest syndrome: feelings of loss and grief, and feelings of relief and freedom [4].

Parents who experience feelings of loss and grief may feel sad, lonely, or even depressed. On the other hand, parents who experience feelings of relief and freedom may feel excited to have more time for themselves and their interests.

Risk Factors for Empty Nest Syndrome

While empty nest syndrome can happen to anyone, certain risk factors can increase the likelihood of experiencing it. For example, parents who have only one child or who have invested a significant amount of time and energy into raising their children may be more prone to experiencing the syndrome [1].

Additionally, parents who do not have a strong support system or who have difficulty adjusting to change may be more likely to experience empty nest syndrome [3].

Empty nest syndrome is a condition that can affect parents when their children leave home for the first time. It’s a natural part of the parenting journey, but it can be difficult to navigate. Empty nest syndrome is often described as having several stages, each with its own set of challenges.

Stage 1: Denial and Disbelief

The first stage of empty nest syndrome is often characterized by denial and disbelief. Parents may find it hard to believe their children have grown up and left home. They may feel like their children are still young and need them, or they may believe that their children will return home soon. This stage can be difficult because it can prevent parents from acknowledging and processing their emotions about their children leaving home.

Example: A mother might walk into her child’s room, see the empty bed, and feel like her child will return soon, even though they have moved out.

Stage 2: Anger and Depression

The second stage of empty nest syndrome is often characterized by anger and depression. Parents may feel angry that their children have left home, or they may feel depressed about the changes that come with an empty nest. They may feel like they have lost a sense of purpose, and they may struggle to adjust to a quieter home.

Example: A father might feel angry that his child has left home and blame them for the feelings of emptiness he is experiencing.

Stage 3: Acceptance and Adjustment

The third stage of empty nest syndrome is often characterized by acceptance and adjustment. Parents may begin to accept that their children have left home, and they may begin to adjust to the changes that come with an empty nest. They may find new hobbies, spend time with friends and family, or take on new challenges. They may also begin to see the positives of an empty nest, such as having more time for themselves and their partners.

Example: A mother might begin to focus on her hobbies and interests, such as taking up painting or traveling, and find fulfillment in these activities.

Why Some People Might Experience Certain Stages of Empty Nest Syndrome But Not Others

Not everyone experiences empty nest syndrome in the same way, and some people may not go through all of the stages. For example, some parents may skip the denial stage and move straight into anger or depression. Others may spend more time in the acceptance and adjustment stage and find it easier to adapt to an empty nest.

Factors that can influence how a person experiences empty nest syndrome include their personality, their relationship with their children, and their support network. Parents who have strong social support and a positive outlook on life may find it easier to navigate the transition to an empty nest.

While the syndrome can manifest in different ways for different people, some common symptoms are often associated with it. Here we will discuss ten symptoms of empty nest syndrome and provide a brief description of each.

Feelings of sadness – Many parents experience feelings of sadness when their children move out of the family home. This can include feelings of grief or a sense of loss [1].

Loneliness – Parents may feel lonely or isolated when their children are no longer at home. They may miss the companionship and support that their children provided [3].

Anxiety – Parents may worry about their children’s well-being and safety now that they are no longer living at home. They may also feel anxious about the future and what it holds for them [2].

Sense of purposelessness – Parents may feel a loss of purpose or identity after their children leave home. They may have invested a significant amount of time and energy into raising their children and may feel uncertain about what to do next [4].

Change in daily routine – When children leave home, parents may experience a significant change in their daily routine. This can be disorienting and may contribute to feelings of emptiness or loneliness [5].

Difficulty sleeping – Many parents experience difficulty sleeping when their children move out. They may have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep and may wake up feeling anxious or sad [6].

Overwhelming emotions – Parents may experience a range of overwhelming emotions when their children leave home. This can include feelings of sadness, anger, or even guilt [3].

Increased alcohol consumption – Some parents may turn to alcohol as a way to cope with the feelings of sadness and loneliness associated with empty nest syndrome. This can lead to increased alcohol consumption and the potential for alcohol-related problems [2].

Loss of appetite – Parents may experience a loss of appetite or changes in their eating habits when their children move out. This can be due to feelings of sadness or anxiety [1].

Difficulty adjusting – Finally, parents may find it difficult to adjust to the changes that come with their children leaving home. This can include adjusting to a quieter household or finding new ways to spend their time [6].

Empty nest syndrome is a challenging life transition that can leave parents feeling lonely and anxious. However, there are ways to manage the difficulties that come with empty nest syndrome. Here are ten strategies to help cope with empty nest syndrome.

Stay in touch with your children [1]. Keeping regular contact with your children via phone, email, or social media can ease the feelings of separation and loneliness that come with an empty nest.

Focus on your relationship [2]. Use this time to nurture your relationship with your partner. Try new things together and explore new interests to strengthen your bond.

Pursue your passions [1]. Use this time to explore your interests and hobbies. Rediscover old hobbies or start new ones. This can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Join a support group [3]. Joining a support group for parents experiencing empty nest syndrome can help you connect with others who are going through the same thing. This can provide comfort and a sense of community.

Seek therapy [4]. If empty nest syndrome is causing depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, consider seeking therapy. A therapist can provide strategies for managing these feelings and offer emotional support.

Volunteer [1]. Volunteering can give you a sense of purpose and help you feel more connected to your community. Consider volunteering at a local organization or charity.

Stay active [2]. Regular exercise can boost your mood and help you feel more energized. Find a physical activity that you enjoy, such as yoga or hiking.

Plan visits with your children [6]. Plan visits with your children that you can look forward to. Having something to anticipate can help ease the feelings of loneliness and separation.

Travel [5]. Use this newfound freedom to travel and explore new places. Traveling can provide a sense of adventure and excitement.

Focus on self-care [7]. Self-care is important during any life transition, including ENS. Make sure to prioritize your physical and emotional health by getting enough sleep, eating well, and practicing stress-reducing activities like meditation.

It is common for people to experience feelings of sadness and loneliness when their children leave home, but in most cases, these feelings will gradually subside over time as the individual adjusts to their new life. However, if these feelings persist or become more severe, it may be helpful to seek professional help [8].

Severe empty nest syndrome is a more intense form of the condition that can have a more serious impact on an individual’s mental and physical well-being.

Some signs of severe empty nest syndrome may include intense feelings of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, difficulty sleeping, and a loss of interest in once-enjoyable activities. In such cases, it is important to seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional to help manage symptoms and develop coping strategies. In some cases, a tailored empty nest syndrome treatment might be required [7].

1. Better Health Channel. Empty nest syndrome. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/empty-nest-syndrome

2. Psych Central. Empty Nest Syndrome. https://psychcentral.com/health/empty-nest-syndrome

3. Healthline. Moving from an Empty Nest to Post-Parental Growth. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/empty-nest-syndrome

4. Psychology Today. Empty Nest Syndrome. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/empty-nest-syndrome

5. Mayo Clinic. How you can enjoy the empty nest. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-you-can-enjoy-the-empty-nest/

6. Very Well Family. 5 Signs and Symptoms of Empty Nest Syndrome. https://www.verywellfamily.com/signs-of-empty-nest-syndrome-4163787

7. Choosing Therapy. Empty Nest Syndrome: Signs, Symptoms, & How to Cope. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/empty-nest-syndrome/

8. Web MD. How to Manage Empty Nest Syndrome. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/how-to-manage-empty-nest-syndrome

FAQs

Is Empty Nest Syndrome Only Experienced By Mothers?

No, empty nest syndrome can be experienced by both parents, regardless of their gender. Fathers may also experience similar feelings of loss, loneliness, and sadness when their children leave home.

Can Empty Nest Syndrome Be Prevented?

While it may not be possible to completely prevent empty nest syndrome, parents can take steps to prepare for their children leaving home, such as finding new hobbies, maintaining a social support system, and focusing on their personal goals and interests.

How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last?

The duration and intensity of empty nest syndrome can vary from person to person, but in most cases, the feelings of sadness and loss typically decrease over time as parents adjust to their new role as empty nesters. However, some parents may experience prolonged feelings of grief or depression when children leave home, in which case seeking professional help may be beneficial.

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